How to be charismatic.
After cold approaching 1,000 strangers the last three years I started to understand what resonates with another human being in conversation.
I didn’t learn this from a podcast or book. I didn’t regurgitate some Instagram content while I sit in my mother’s basement telling you about this. Over the last three years, I have cold approached more than 1,000 strangers. On their doorstep, in the bar, in the airport, the coffee shop, the sidewalk, parties and at the club.
I’ve met millionaires, homeless people, famous actresses and actors, influencers, the elderly, and kids just graduating highschool and college. Here’s what I learned:
Remember that person who always talked about themselves? They told stories but never were interested in yours? They never shut up and they continue, with almost every sentence, to try to directly, or indirectly tell you they’re awesome.
Did you think they were awesome?
Of course not.
Remember that person that didn’t say anything about themselves, and somehow got you to just blabber on and on about yourself, and you watched them hang onto every word you said?
That’s the charmer. They don’t impress. They very rarely speak. They don’t feel the need to assert themselves or pad their ego. They do something most can’t with little to no words:
Create a safe environment where you feel the urge to open up.
When you feel payed attention to, when you feel important, when you feel interesting in someone else’s presence even if they didn’t say or do anything, your mind immediately associates that person as someone you want to be around.
They didn’t do this to manipulate or take advantage, they were genuinely interested and asked questions.
Charming people never wanted to be charming to begin with. Their charm happened as a byproduct of their intentions. They didn’t care about attracting, or being magnetic.
They cared about you.
The moment you become genuinely more interested in other people rather than yourself?
Congratulations your charming af. But you can’t fake this, you have to arrive at a place where the interest is genuine. If you act to get the result of charm, then people will notice and it won’t have the effect your intending.
The reason why you want to be charming isn’t to make friends, it isn’t to become more powerful, it’s because people deserve, and are dying to be payed attention to. They’re dying for someone to make them feel seen, heard, and understood. Someone to share their stories with and actually feel like they are being listened to.
Every human deserves this but very rarely gets it. That’s why it’s your job to learn the skill of charm, and use it to connect with people, and leave them feeling better about themselves.
What could be more important?
P.S.
I’m not an expert, but I might be one step ahead of where you are if you struggle with connection, communication, or social anxiety. If you feel like you struggle with any of this, this was for you.
Send me a message and I will help you in any way I can FOR FREE.